What Siblings Can Teach Each Other
“You do it like this, Buddy,” I overheard a tiny voice say. When I looked over, I found Lorelei, then 3, fully engaged in helping Gryffin, 1, maneuver shapes into a shape sorter, guiding his small fingers with her barely bigger hand. I hadn’t asked her to hone his fine-motor skills, but I can’t deny it: watching my kids teach and learn together in that moment made this mother’s heart proud.
Developmental Skills
Kids become masters of learning when they are able to teach, and younger siblings make natural students.
“I've loved watching Grace, 5, share her gift of gab with her little brother, Robbie, 2,” says Barb St. Peter, Leawood. “Grace came out talking, it seemed. Robbie, however, has struggled with vocalizing. Grace slowly sounds out words with her brother, praising him when he attempts to mimic her. Quite honestly, Robbie responds best to his big sister's approach to ‘teaching’ him how to talk.”
Safety
While safety skills are a parent’s duty to teach, an older sibling can reinforce these skills. “Danger, Gryffin. Don’t put that in your mouth!” and “Don’t touch that!” were phrases common in our household. It was no surprise, then, when 2-year-old Lorelei started training our little rugrat how to scoot down the stairs properly, always “piggies first.” She was so adamant about Gryffin’s safety that she scooted alongside him until he was stable enough to hold the hand rail and hold his own down the stairs.
Social Niceties
“I think it is cute how, when Jack was first talking, he learned family-specific terminology and habits from older sister Katherine,” says Katrina Kanary, Overland Park. “We try to teach the kids polite speech when asking for things. As Jack's vocabulary has increased, we find Katherine, 5, responding to his demands for ‘More milk!’ with ‘You mean, “May I have more milk, please?’’ Her help, and our reinforcement, have resulted in Jack mastering that habit earlier than Katherine did, despite his later language development.“
Similarly, Marina Purnamo, Lenexa, discovered to her delight that her daughter, Katrina, 3, was teaching little brother Kevin, 1, to share toys, and that “if he did something wrong, he had to apologize.”
Love
“When we brought Robbie home from the hospital, Grace's world was turned upside down—she had been the center of attention for 2 1/2 years,” says St. Peter. “Her source of comfort, since 3 months of age, was her plush ‘Blue’ from Blue's Clues, which she grasped in her little hands and spent hours snuggling. As I cradled Baby Robbie in my arms, Grace would mother Blue. When Robbie was only days old, Grace announced that he would need a ‘lovey’ and she would be thrilled to help choose just the one. Grace and Robbie continue to find comfort in snuggling with their most precious Blue and blankie."
Sometimes, older siblings teach loving kindness in the way they care for Blue and blankie. Other times, they teach caring behaviors by guiding little hands to gently pet the family bunny, instead of tugging at its ears. But whatever the curriculum, there’s one thing siblings teach better than anything else: love.
Wendy Connelly, Overland Park, is a wife and mom to two young kids, her constant teachers.