When Family Dinners Don’t Work: More Ways to Connect
We’ve all heard how important it is for families to gather around the dinner table every night for quality time together. However, even though many parents try hard to make the practice work, sometimes it just doesn’t. The fact of the matter is that every family is different, and for some, dinner isn’t the best time to congregate for family time. Conflicting evening schedules among family members may make it tough, but don’t beat yourself up for it. You have so many other options to spend regular family time together each day that don’t necessarily require the dinner table. In fact, studies now state that quality family time doesn’t necessarily need to take place at the dinner table. It’s the time spent connecting with and influencing our kids that truly matters, not where those moments take place. So if you’re struggling to make it to the dinner table every night, take a look at some of these great ideas that just might work for your clan instead!
- Breakfast Club. That’s right! Start your own family breakfast club. If everyone is home in the morning, plan to get up a little earlier, make a meal everyone likes and sit down at the table together to eat and catch up before everyone heads out for the day. You may want to do this every morning or just a few mornings a week. It’s up to you! You might even want to give your breakfast club a fun name!
- Sunday Fun Day. If family dinners are impossible to plan during the week, but you still would like at least one dinner together each week, make Sunday your day! Plan a specific time for everyone to come together every Sunday to eat and enjoy each other’s company. You might even throw in a game or movie to follow dessert!
- Family Meetings. Bring your family together weekly or bi-weekly to talk about things that need everyone’s attention. By engaging kids in family decision making, family meetings can help to resolve conflict, build unity and foster a sense of autonomy. Setting up regular meetings ensures your family will always have time to come together.
- Game Night. Fill your home with laughter and excitement by planning family game nights. Whether it’s once a week or once a month, it’s a great way to bring the family together and connect with one another.
- Car Rides. Take advantage of every car ride you take with your kids. Instead of turning on music or movies in the car, spend your drive time listening to them talk and enjoy a fun conversation with them! This is such a great way to connect with your kids. Every little moment matters!
- Sweet Treats. Is it too difficult to get the family together during dinner hours? If so, think outside the box and plan a time later in the evening (7:00 or 8:00) for everyone to come together and have dessert.
- Chatty Chores. Give the kids and teens age-appropriate chores and, while everyone is working, have some fun conversations! Folding laundry, helping prep a meal, washing the car and fetching ingredients for a recipe are all great tasks for kids of all ages, and they encourage conversation and quality time together while also getting things done.
- Walkie Talkie. No, not the thing you hold in your hand and talk into. Although, that could be fun—and nostalgic too! Instead, plan a day each week to go for walks together. Walk around the neighborhood or take a stroll at a nearby park. This is a great way to exercise and have great conversations!
- Family Face Time. Whether you have FaceTime, Skype, Zoom or one of the many other virtual meeting apps, take advantage of the technology and use it to keep up with the family! These are great options to keep in touch and on top of what’s been going on with the family for parents who work late, travel or do not live in the same home as their kids.
- Art Night. Bring out the art supplies and let every family member create together! YouTube is a great place for finding some fun art projects and how-to videos. Buy some canvases and paint supplies and create some masterpieces to hang throughout the house. Or create one big masterpiece with the entire family!
- Mini Vacation. Forget Disney World. Instead, look for mini getaways for the entire family that are inexpensive, during off-peak times, and not more than three hours from home. Planning a few of these throughout the year is a great way to get away as a family, make memories and build the family bond even stronger.
- Weekend Gardening. Gather the family together and plan what everyone would like to grow in the garden area. If you don’t have garden space, you can plant a container garden. Once you have the list written down, take a family shopping trip to find everything you need for planting, then plan a day to do the actual work. Growing and caring for a family garden is a great way to enjoy each other’s conversation and build strong bonds.
- Bedtime Bonding. If you miss out a lot on daytime conversations and quality time together, you might look to bedtime for staying connected. With small children, ask them questions such as, “What do you think you’ll dream about tonight?” Go deeper with older kids: “What kind of job do you think you’d be really good at and why?” This is a great way to stay connected and get to know your children on a deeper level.
The secret behind making family dinners work is multifaceted: It’s a choice that takes time and know-how, schedules must coincide, and you must make it a priority. If it’s not a priority, then it won’t work. And if it doesn’t work for your family, whatever the reason, then it doesn’t work. And that’s okay as long as you pursue some of the many other ways to connect as a family. Once you find what works for your crew, keep on keeping on and make gathering a regular event everyone looks forward to.
Kansas City mom and author Gina Klein has always made family dinnertime a priority in her home, along with family meetings, game nights, sweet treats, TV time and whatever else can be fit in each week!