Why Kids Need Grandparents
They go by many names and are important people in your child’s life. Whether it’s their Grandma, Papa, Gigi, Granny or Gramps, it’s important for your children to establish and maintain a close bond with their grandparents.
Grandparents play a key role in the lives of children. They are positive role models, help kids develop problem solving skills and can become a stabilizing force for young people during times of trauma, such as divorce or the loss of a parent. Spending time with grandchildren is just as beneficial to grandparents, too. A study by the U.S. National Library of Medicine found that women who spend just one day a week taking care of their grandchildren have the highest cognitive performance among their peers. Another study from Boston College says, “An emotionally close relationship between grandparent and grandchild is associated with fewer symptoms of depression for both generations.”
We know the bond is important, but how do we go about creating and maintaining that bond? It can be especially tough with busy schedules and long distances between each other, but we’ve put together several tips for grandparents and grandchildren to cultivate their special relationship.
A study by the American Grandparents Association showed that 72 percent think that being a grandparent is the single most important and satisfying thing in their life.
Visit Often
Do your best to make visits to see grandparents a priority. If you live close to your parents, try to make a weekly trip to visit them. Get together for Sunday dinner or invite them over for your Friday movie nights. It’s just as important for grandparents to visit your house too. If you live far away from each other, plan a long trip to visit at least once a year. Then, they can visit you later in the year. You can also plan to meet at a point in the middle of both homes for a long weekend visit.
Use Technology
According to an AARP report, more than 50 percent of all grandparents live further than 200 miles away from one or more of their grandkids. Luckily, we have amazing technology to help us keep in touch with our family. Skype, Zoom and Facetime are easy ways to communicate with each other, no matter the distance. Schedule weekly video chats to catch up on what happened during the week. The chats don’t need to be long but can be just enough to keep grandparents informed of your child’s life. We like to Facetime our parents when something big happens in our kids’ lives. For example, we Facetimed them to show them our new puppy, and they were able to see the excitement on the kids’ faces for themselves. You can also keep them updated by posting photos and videos on social media networks like Facebook and Instagram. If your parents aren’t familiar with these technologies, make sure to set up their devices and show them how it works in person.
Kids love getting mail, and grandparents love it just as much, especially when it’s from their grandchildren. Encourage your kids to write letters and draw pictures to mail to their grandparents. Grandparents can write them back or send little cards or notes to let the kids know they are thinking of them. Email can also work well for writing back and forth with grandparents, if the grandparents are tech savvy.
Keep Photos Around the House
Do your best to keep a reminder of your parents around the house through photos. This will keep the grandparents at the top of your children’s minds and will remind them of the fun memories they’ve had together. Also, make sure you send school photos and other snapshots to your parents periodically. They will love receiving them and seeing how much the kids have grown. Our family utilizes Our Photo, a digital picture frame. We are able to upload pictures to the app on our phone and the photos show up on our parent’s picture frames. The grandparents always enjoy seeing the new photos, and it’s less of a hassle for us because we don’t have to keep going to the store to have photos printed.
Share Common Interests
Grandparents are a great source of knowledge for your children. It’s so special when they can find common interests to strengthen their bond. Perhaps they both enjoy baking, woodworking, playing a musical instrument or gardening. Your child will be able to learn so much from your parents, and your parents will find joy in sharing these things with the next generation. It’s also special, because they might recall their parents and grandparents teaching these things to them. These lessons will stick with your children, and they will pass them on to their children.
Share Stories
Encourage your parents to share stories with your kids. Ask them to tell you about when they met their spouse, what school was like when they were young or about their careers. If they will let you, record them telling these stories. These will become cherished moments for you to listen to one day. I still have the recording of my grandmother telling me about World War II for an oral history project, and it’s one of my most cherished possessions.
Keep Grandparents Included
If your child has a soccer game on Saturday, call and invite them. If there’s a school play, invite them. If the kids get a special award at school, invite them to dinner to celebrate. Keeping them included in the day-to-day activities will help the grandparents feel more connected to your children.
Don’t Get Caught Up in Gifts
Grandparents can sometimes fall into wanting to spoil their grandchildren with toys, clothes and candy. A little spoiling is fine, but what really matters to kids is spending quality time together and having a meaningful relationship. You don’t want the grandkids to look at you as the grandparent who buys them things. You want them to get to know you and enjoy spending little moments together. The little moments like baking cookies, working in the garden, fishing or playing card games make the greatest impact on your relationship.
Regan Lyons is a girl mom and freelance writer. She lives with her husband and daughters, Atley, 7, and Ensley, 1, in St. Joseph, MO.