Why Am I So Busy?

As parents, we meet challenges daily. But let’s face it, some of those daily challenges we just don’t have time for! So where do we find the balance? How can a parent manage working, raising children and effectively completing domestic duties? How can a parent make her life easier and everyone else’s life happier? How can a parent be great AND effectively manage her time?

Mosaic Life Care representative, life coach and parent Kimberlie Specker speaks up about time and how she manages to be an effective parent. “I prioritize and create a schedule that works for me. I choose how to structure my calendar, commitments and career based on what’s most important to me and how I want my year to look,” she says.

By sharing key techniques, like Stephen Covey’s Big Rock method in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Specker advises her clients with the same techniques she uses in her household. “Our choices yield the consequences of life,” she says. “You can have good consequences or you can have bad consequences.”

She also shares her professional opinion of how people can be addicted to busyness: “They’re fearful of silence. Being busy doesn’t give them time to stop and think.”

According to Forbes.com, this is what busy addicts want, a task to be presented so they have an excuse not to stop. Barbara Stanny of Forbes calls it the “Addicted to Busyness Syndrome” and deems it epidemic among women.

“Create your own solution,” says Specker, who explains that if a mom manages her time effectively, she’ll experience a reduction of feeling overwhelmed, won’t have chaos and will feel less stressed. A mother of two, Specker says she manages her career, children and household duties by creating a schedule with margins or gaps in it. Doing so leaves room for the unexpected to happen.

“Outsource as much as possible,” Specker also advises. She says that by outsourcing, she’s able to spend more time with her family. “Outsourcing also helps if it’s beyond your scope as a parent.” For example, by doing things like hiring a tutor, parents can free up time to cook or clean, and it may ultimately help the child more than the parent could.

When parents feel like saying they are too busy, Specker says, “Take time to know what—and who—matters most in your life. Take time to discover who they are and what they want.”

Jessica Samuel is a St. Louis native and current Kansas City resident. Journalist, Photographer, Graduate, Student, ALLY.

15 Tips for Parents to Best Manage Their Time

• Create a day-to-day plan. If you have time the night before a big day, USE IT! Plan your day before it happens. It’ll save you time and leave you less stressed for the day that follows.
• Leave Margins. Leave gaps in your schedule for “hiccups.” Life happens, and no one is perfect, so you can’t expect your schedule to be. If you leave room for error, you’ll limit error.
• Use a calendar. A calendar gives you the ability to see what’s coming weeks in advance. If you use it effectively, you’ll limit surprises.
• Take advantage of a planner. Planners give you an extended version of your calendar. They give you a more in-depth look at what you scheduled. So remember to read that Friday explanation for mani/pedi that’s on the calendar—it may be a pre-game for that anniversary you’re sure to forget about. 
• Know your deadlines. Mark your calendar and planner with deadlines so you can be sure to meet any deadlines way before they come.
• N-O. Learn to say no! It’s okay to say no. By saying no, you cut down that to-do list and ultimately save yourself headache from things that could get in the way of enjoying time with your family.
• Always keep track. Have a clock armed and ready at all times. If you know what time it is, you can’t be late. Or it’s at least a little harder.
• Aim to be early. If you set an appointment or you have a task, try to make it at least 10 minutes earlier than scheduled. This leaves a margin (gap) for surprises and more time to plan.
• Focus! Try tackling one activity at a time. Complete task #1 before moving to task #2.
• Who’s perfect? Don’t stress about not completing a task exactly how you had it mapped out in your brain. Life goes on! If it doesn’t go exactly how you want it, you will live. Pick your battles.
• Prioritize. Since you’re not born with superpowers, accept the fact that you can’t do everything. Prioritize the most important and let the rest go.  
• Hand it over. Outsource! If you can afford to pass a task over to a more qualified candidate, do it! Hiring a nanny or that math tutor can help in more ways than one. Who remembers the circumference of a circle anyway?
• Use your time wisely. Instead of checking Facebook, Twitter or Instagram five times a day, limit yourself to twice a day, then gradually work down to once a day. This will help make sure you have your important things done first. Remember, work before play.
• You know yourself better than anyone else! You know what pushes your buttons and what puts a smile on your face. Work in environments that work best for you. Don’t overwork yourself and don’t sell yourself short.
• Slow and Steady. Take time to get to know what matters most in your life. Discover who you are and what you want out of whatever situation you’re in and make it work for you.