We establish routines for work, school and chores. Yet when it comes to sleep, many of us assume it should just come on its own. The reality? More than a third of children and adults struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep. Because humans are creatures of habit, establishing a bedtime routine for your family can be one of the most effective ways to prepare for nighttime rest success.
The Hidden Benefits of a Bedtime Routine
Bedtime routines aren’t simply just about getting your kids to fall asleep. They also help build bonds between you and your children and give little ones a sense of security while teaching them how to fall asleep on their own. Children who follow bedtime routines fall asleep easier, faster and sleep longer than those who don’t. The benefits of a bedtime routine keep on giving in years to come, too, through improved working memory, cognitive skills and attention (not to mention improved mood, behavior and stress levels). The overall impact has implications on school readiness and success, as well as improved social skills. In short, bedtime routines pack a punch, not only preparing children for a well-rested tomorrow but also preparing them for a healthier and more regulated future.
Establish Healthy Daytime Habits
Good daytime habits lead to good nighttime habits. These include getting plenty of physical exercise, time in nature and exposure to sunlight. Children should have time to decompress after school, as well as free time to play creatively. Make sure to guard your calendar against overscheduling or hyper-structuring all waking hours.
Carve Out Adequate Time
Whether you have toddlers, teens or kids in between, allow adequate time for a bedtime routine. What is a bedtime routine exactly? It’s simply a designated time each evening (ideally a full hour before shutting off the lights) in which you do a set of pre-sleep activities. Activities can vary but the key is consistency, because the predictability signals your brain and body that it’s time to start winding down. Some basic bedtime routine activities include taking a warm bath, listening to calming music, reading or journaling. Rushing revs a body up, so carve out enough time and space to ensure each person can unwind. Regardless of the type of day everyone has had, an unhurried bedtime routine helps end the day on a good note.
Establish a Dedicated Bedtime
One of the most common sleep misconceptions out there is that getting a kid “good and tired” by skipping a nap or going to bed later will make sleep come easily. But as many a parent can attest, this approach actually backfires, causing a child to be overstimulated and grumpy. If you want a child to truly sleep well, consistency trumps exhaustion. Talk to your pediatrician or consult with a sleep training program such as Taking Cara Babies to determine when your baby’s or child’s optimum sleep/wake cycles are and then stick to them like glue. This consistency will train your child’s brain to feel tired as bedtime approaches.
Kick Screens to the Curb
The term “Netflix and chill” is synonymous with relaxation, but screen time of any sort before bed sends mixed messages to our brains. Electronic screens, such as tablets, phones, computers and TVs, all emit blue light, which signals the brain that it must be daytime, suppresses melatonin production and makes it more difficult to fall asleep. Keep screens out of the bedroom and, better yet, avoid screens two hours before bedtime so sleep will come easily. Have an older child working on an online homework assignment? Make sure a red light filter is on his device and encourage him to work in a common area. Keeping all family devices at a common charging station for the night signals that quality sleep is a priority you hold in high esteem not only for your kids, but for yourself as well.
Enjoy a Light Snack
Heavy meals before bedtime are notorious for causing indigestion and unnecessary trips to the bathroom, but a light snack or tea time can be just the thing for ushering in sweet dreams. Reach for a handful of cherries, grapes, nuts or oats, which all are rich in melatonin. Otherwise, brew a pot of herbal non-caffeinated tea, such as chamomile or lavender. Little ones may also enjoy a bottle or nursing session before bed—just make sure they have it before they fall asleep, so they don’t depend on eating to fall asleep.
Read
Bedtime stories bond parents and their children, help build imagination, and provide relaxation and fun. Little ones can read a simple fairy tale or the same family favorite picture book each night. As children get older, you may enjoy delving into a series of chapter books together. Need a little direction? Check out Honey for a Child’s Heart by Gladys Hunt for great lists of bedtime reads or Sarah Mackenzie’s Read Aloud Revival guide online. In the event that you lose your voice, consider using an audiobook or listening to a volunteer read your story of choice on YouTube as an “understudy” for the evening.
Make the Bedroom a Sleep-Only Zone
A child’s bed has one job alone: sleep zone. Make the bedroom a sleep oasis that encourages drowsing by keeping it cool (mid 60s-71 degrees), uncluttered, unstimulating and calming. Install room darkening curtains to hide the glow of streetlights, a sound machine and a diffuser with aromatherapy, such as a good quality lavender essential oil.
The Do’s & Don’ts of Bedtime Routines
Do keep your routine short and sweet. The longer the routine, the harder it is to keep consistent—and consistency is key to success.
Don’t wait until your child shows signs of being tired to start the bedtime routine. Overtired children fight sleep and are harder to put down.
Do listen to your child’s concern. If something isn’t working, change it up. Let your little one have liberty in areas that aren’t deal breakers, such as what pajamas to wear or what book to read.
Don’t let sleeping in on the weekends jeopardize weekday sleep routines. Sleeping in more than an hour from a usual wake time can make weekday bedtime a fight.
Do make gradual progressions. In preparation for travel to another time zone, seasonal time changes or a new school year, gradually make adjustments of 15 minutes each night to the start of the bedtime routine until you reach your desired goal instead of trying to shift things over one night.
Lauren Greenlee takes her coffee strong each morning, regardless of the type of sleep she got the night before. She can be found homeschooling her four boys during the day and freelance writing when they hit the hay.